Life is the childhood of our immortality
Goethe

azi am avut o zi mai ciudata la lucru, apoi am epilat-o pe Miri, a venit Meli cu Bia si a lasat-o cu mine, am iesit cu Silvi si inca doi caini, unul din ei Gino, preferatul meu care a fost foaaarte gelos pe aia mica... apoi am mers la mama lui A, am ajutat-o in gradina, Bia s-a jucat, a obosit, tarziu m-am intors acasa si m-am apucat sa calc pentru o baba, pentru 1 euro pe ora, banii ii pun in pusculitza lui Leo. Mai am de calcat un pic maine si am gatat, doamne ajuta ca nu tare-mi place sa calc Pana am calcat Bia o dormit sub masa, pe la 9 o venit Meli si-o dus-o acasa
Acuma-s rupta de oboseala. Noapte buna.

ma enervez pe colega-mea. Asta inseamna ca mi frica de ea. Rational nu am de ce sa-mi fie frica de ea. Asa ca poate-mi place sa-mi fie frica? I don't know...

Ia sa ma focusez eu pe mine!

Asa, m-am ocupat de mine. Acuma o sa incep sa-mi fac telefonatele zilnice...

ce faina poate fi viata.

Am decis sa-mi renovez bicicleta. Sa-i dau maximul de lustru care se poate. A fi si mai faina decat este deja

what a day! Am socializat la maximum azi, ma doare capul numai daca ma gandesc cu cati oameni m-am vazut azi, cati bebe am tinut in brate si cu cati catei m-am jucat...
si oricat m-am stradui sa gasesc ceva de notat in jurnal singura chestie ce-mi vine pe limba e "what a day!"

Friday, April 15, 2011 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Communication

Part of owning our power is learning to communicate clearly, directly, and assertively. We don't have to beat around the bush in our conversations to control the reactions of others. Guilt-producing comments only produce guilt. We don't have to fix or take care of people with our words; we can't expect others to take care of us with words either. We can settle for being heard and accepted. And we can respectfully listen to what others have to say.

Hinting at what we need doesn't work. Others can't read our mind, and they're likely to resent our indirectness. The best way to take responsibility for what we want is to ask for it directly. And, we can insist on directness from others. If we need to say no to a particular request, we can. If someone is trying to control us through a conversation, we can refuse to participate.

Acknowledging feelings such as disappointment or anger directly, instead of making others guess at our feelings or having our feelings come out in other ways, is part of responsible communication. If we don't know what we want to say, we can say that too.

We can ask for information and use words to forge a closer connection, but we don't have to take people around the block with our conversations. We don't have to listen to, or participate in, nonsense. We can say what we want and stop when we're done.

Today, I will communicate clearly and directly in my conversations with others. I will strive to avoid manipulative, indirect, or guilt producing statements. I can be tactful and gentle whenever possible. And I can be assertive if necessary.

is castrati cainii lui tata io am trimis banii, vara-mea s-o ocupat de ei... is tare fericita

ieri seara am construit dulapul de pantofi ce l-am cumparat recent. Are loc pentru 40 de perechi de pantofi, a fost destul de complicat sistemul... l-am facut in doua ore... cred ca-s un geniu si cred ca am dreptate

Noutatea mea cea mare este un hamac, ce mi l-a legat L de-o creanga si in care ma retrag dupa amiaza tarziu sa citesc cateva pagini dintr-o carte pe care apoi o las acolo ascunsa in cutele hamacului pana a doua zi.

Alta noutate, trista, ar fi ca a murit Seli. Avea 15 ani. De cateva zile incoace nu mai statea saraca pe picioare. A venit doctorul si a adormit-o. Asa ca acuma cautam catel Golden Retriever. Cautam in Ungaria de unde si-a luat si prietena mea.

Alta noutate ar fi ca am gatat baia si ca e superba. Aproape am gatat si holul de la intrare. De fapt toate camerele sunt "aproape" gat, peste tot mai lipseste una-alta. Dupa cum mi-am propus anul asta nu cumpar haine si nu cumpar pantofi. Am destule boarfe cumparate in nestire anii trecuti deci o sa trebuiasca sa ma multumesc cu ele. Nici nu intru in magazine. Asa ca anul asta o sa mi se reduca si suma posesiunilor daca mi se mai strica din ele.

Deseara iesim sa mancam peste.

mi-am gatat trebile pe azi, ma retrag in hamac pentru un ceas apoi o sa ajut la pregatirea cinei. Am avut parte de o zi deosebit de frumoasa. La intrare am plantat petunii, in baie am o vaza cu cale albe, primele din gradina de anul asta, in dormitor intr-o vaza minuscula am un buchetel de violete care parfumeaza discret toata incaperea.
O seara placuta jurnalule. Pe curand.

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

is acasa, mi-am facut o supa... ma uit la ratatui (indiferent de cum se scrie) ... e liniste in inima mea...

Paste fericit prietenelor mele de pe han!

Am redeschis jurnalul meu din 1992 si l-am recitit zilele astea. Am fost foarte precisa in notat, am si orarele de la scoala - eram in ultimul an de liceu - data menstruatiei si data vaccinurilor lui Iris cainele meu.
Ma tulbura doar putin de tot. Ma uimeste inocenta, infantilismul gandirii...
Pe vremea aia eram indragostita de un ungur Laszlo, si azi cand imi citesc framantarile de la vremea aia si ma gandesc cat de putin important este azi Laszlo in viata mea (adica deloc!) ma amuza...

Caut caine. Golden Retriver pica pentru ca papa puii si gainile. Deci NU este potrivit pentru o ferma. Caut Sant Bernard.

Saptamana viitoare o sa merg la adapostul de animale sa donez niste lucruri ramase de la pisica mea: doi copaci de zgariat, niste jucarii si 2 paturi mai flocoase. Tot saptamana viitoare ma scap de o alta chestie care-mi sta pe creier. Doamne ajuta!

in acelasi jurnal am gasit o lista cu toate persoanele pe care le cunosteam pe vremea aia si la care le-am trimis un "ultim sunat" - cred ca asa se numea. Cu ocazia asta mi-am amintit de multa lume de care intre timp uitasem...
Am gasit si o lista cu pregatirile pentru banchet si ce cat a costat.
Bineinteles tezele cu data si ora. Mai am niste insemnari care nu mai stiu ce inseamna...
Am mai gasit niste scurte sinteze si rezumate ale unor romane, reguli pentru proba orala la bacalaureat
Am gasit chiar si o poezie scrisa de mine

Cu raze sovaitoare
Soarele-mi atinge lin fata
Intr-o mangaiere...

Cu mainile pline de lut
Pamantul imi mangaie talpile
Intr-o atingere...

Cu imbratisari racoroase
Aerul imi imbraca trupul
Intr-o liniste calda...

Si daca si raza si lutul
si cerul se intalnesc in mine
Ce sint eu? Poate un cantec
Sau poate chiar primavara?

Hihi

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Opening Ourselves to Love

Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery.

Many of us have blocked ourselves from receiving love. We may have lived with people who used love to control us. They would be there for us, but at the high price of our freedom. Love was given, or withheld, to control us and have power over us. It was not safe for us to receive love from these people. We may have gotten accustomed to not receiving love, not acknowledging our need for love, because we lived with people who had no real love to give.

At some point in recovery, we acknowledge that we, too, want and need to be loved. We may feel awkward with this need. Where do we go with it? What do we do? Who can give us love? How can we determine who is safe and who isn't? How can we let others care for us without feeling trapped, abused, frightened, and unable to care for ourselves?

We will learn. The starting point is surrendering to our desire to be loved, our need to be nurtured and loved. We will grow confident in our ability to take care of ourselves with people. We will feel safe enough to let people care for us; we will grow to trust our ability to choose people who are safe and who can give us love.

We may need to get angry first - angry that our needs have not been met. Later, we can become grateful to those people who have shown us what we don't want, the ones who have assisted us in the process of believing we deserve love, and the ones who come into our life to love us.

We are opening up like flowers. Sometimes it hurts as the petals push open. Be glad. Our heart is opening up to the love that is and will continue to be there for us.

Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way.

Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.

Today, I will open myself to the love that is here for me. I will let myself receive love that is safe, knowing I can take care of myself with people. I will be grateful to all the people from my past who have assisted me in my process of opening up to love. I claim, accept, and am grateful for the love that is coming to me.

Pana la urma sant bernardul e prea mare. Vreo rasa de vanatoare nu se potriveste asa c-au ramas doar cainii ciobanesti ca aia de paza si protectie ies din schema din cauza de copii multi si mici.
Border collie e preferatul meu. Lassie o fost ultima generatie si o fost tare de treaba, una din ele mai exista dar e si ea batrana de tot... un ciobanesc mioritic ar fi un vis... fara acte sau mai stiu eu ce... si sa fie un pic corcit cu akte soiuri ca altfel is tare bolnaviciosi... dar mai bine raman cu picioarele pe pamant ca de unde scot eu acuma un miortic?

M-am trezit de dimineata si m-am uitat la tinkerbell. De asta imi plac sarbatorile, ca vin cu multe desene animate...

Marti is libera si am in plan o portie de cartofi pai cu mujdei de usturoi mmmhhhhh

mai notez doua trei ganduri si apoi o sa incerc sa ma ridic din pat sa-mi incep ziua...

in primul rand meditatia de azi mi se potriveste cu ultimele "framantari"

Sunday, April 24, 2011 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Lessons on the Job

Often, the spiritual and recovery lessons we're learning at work reflect the lessons we're learning in other areas of our life.

Often, the systems we're attracted to in our working life are similar to the systems in which we find ourselves living and loving. Those are the systems that reflect our issues and can help us learn our lessons.

Are we slowly learning to trust ourselves at work? How about at home? Are we slowly learning to take care of ourselves at work? How about at home? Are we slowly learning boundaries and self-esteem, overcoming fear, and dealing with feelings?

If we search back over our work history, we will probably see that it is a mirror of our issues, our growth. It most likely is now too.

For today, we can believe that we are right where we need to be - at home and at work.

Today, I will accept my present circumstances on the job. I will reflect on how what I am learning in my life applies to what I'm learning at work. If I don't know, I will surrender to the experience until that becomes clear. God, help me accept the work I have been given to do today. Help me be open to and learn what I need to be learning. Help me trust that it can and will be good.

in al doilea rand, ieri am fost, dupa multa vreme, pe un board de pasi si am gasit o companie foate placuta.

apoi: ma tot intreb de ce acord atentie unui anumit personaj (sau persoana?) de pe han si problemelor ei. Cred ca inca rolul ce l-am jucat in prima parte a vietii - acela de salvator - n-a murit de tot. Pana ma rezum la a ajuta cu idei, in masura timpului si a energiei disponibile totul ok. Tre sa fiu atenta sa nu cad in vreo extrema si sa incerc sa salvez lumea. Focusul trebuie sa-l pastrez pe mine pentru ca daca pot schimba ceva in lumea asta aia e: pe mine insami! propriile mele atitudini, moduri de a privi viata si situatiile de viata. Atat pot schimba. Si nici nu trebuie sa schimb nici mai mult.

Claritatea este un dar divin pentru care multumesc Universului.

peste 10 min tre sa scot painile in cuptor.
Intre timp o sa notez un exercitiu din ultima carte ce am citit-o.

Exercitiul se cheama Analiza situatiei

Se ia un caiet cu foi neliniate (nu ma intrebati de ce!) si se noteaza prima amintire din copilaria proprie care ne vine in minte. Dupa ce-o scriem ne gandim ca oare de ce exact asta ne-o venit in minte? Asta poate fi cheia spre sufletul nostru.

Apoi facem un experiment de asociatii

Notam urmatoarele cuvine (relevante din pct de vedere pshologic) in caiet
tata
mama
frati/surori
casa
dragoste
parteneriat
profesie
autoritate
frica
vina
speranta
prietenie
griji (a-si face)
dor
suferinta
lupta
fericire
putere

apoi notam ceea ce ne vine in minte legat de fiecare cuvant. Nu exista corect sau gresit in exercitiul asta. Scriem orice ce ne vine spontan in minte. Cand am terminat de scris citim ca pe un text ... notam "problemele" principale si cele secundare care reies din asociatii.
Dupa cateva zile mai putm sa adaugam cate ceva daca vrem.

am luat cina cu doua familii venite din Italia pentru Paste aici. Am aranjat masa frumos de tot, cu lumanari, servetzele si inimioare decorative rosu cu alb. Am mancat bucate tipice austriece care nu se deosebesc de cele transilvane deloc, atata ca ei nu fac sarmale Am avut sunca fiarta, oua fierte, carnati fierti, hrean, paine alba, paine neagra si paine de dinkel facuta de mine (nu stiu cum ii zice la dinkel in romaneste, dinkel e in germana, in italiana e farro). Am mancat cozonac traditional de paste ce se cheama Reidling. Am baut sirop de zmeura si de roinita, cei mari vin si cel mai mic lapte cald cu cacao. Is tare bucuroasa ca mi-o iesit asa de bine cina si ca nu am fost singura de paste. Pentru mine sarbatorile is doar teoretic de una singura pentru ca practic Universul imi trimite MEREU! pe cineva sa-mi tina companie si MEREU! am parte de cei mai deosebiti si mai frumosi oameni cu care petrec sarbatorile.

Am inceput o carte noua care are scrisul cam mic si inca nu-s obisnuita sa port ochelarii de citit.

am bagat soricii de la sunca de ieri intr-o ciorba de cartofi care se anunta delicioasa Oaspetii au plecat, eu sunt obosita si pana imi vine ora de mers la lucru o sa ma odihnesc.

Meditatia de azi vine la momentul ideal, inca mai trebuie sa invat anumite lectii despre oameni, sa-mi gasesc adevarul

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Finding Our Own Truth

We must each discover our own truth.

It does not help us if those we love find their truth. They cannot give it to us. It does not help if someone we love knows a particular truth in our life. We must discover our truth for ourselves.

We must each discover and stand in our own light.

We often need to struggle, fail, and be confused and frustrated. That's how we break through our struggle; that's how we learn what is true and right for ourselves.

We can share information with others. Others can tell us what may predictably happen if we pursue a particular course. But it will not mean anything until we integrate the message and it becomes our truth, our discovery, and our knowledge.

There is no easy way to break through and find our truth.

But we can and will, if we want to.

We may want to make it easier. We may nervously run to friends, asking them to give us their truth or make our discovery easier. They cannot. Light will shed itself in its own time.

Each of us has our own share of truth, waiting to reveal itself to us. Each of us has our own share of the light, waiting for us to stand in it, to claim it as ours.

Encouragement helps. Support helps. A firm belief that each person has truth available - appropriate to each situation - is what will help.

Each experience, each frustration, each situation, has its own truth waiting to be revealed. Don't give up until you find it - for yourself.

We shall be guided into truth, if we are seeking it. We are not alone.

Today, I will search for my own truth, and I will allow others to do the same. I will place value on my vision and the vision of others. We are each on the journey, making our own discoveries - the ones that are right for us today.

Am inceput sa copiez fragmentele mai interesante din acest jurnal intr-un fisier separat care sa primeasca functiunea de jurnal.

Am ajuns pana la pagina 50.

Tatal lui L se pregateste pentru tranzitie. Ii tin pumnii sa aiba o trecere lina.

Maine am liber. O sa sun la doctor si o sa fac multa miscare.

dupa o perioada de stagnare ma intorc la flylady. Sunt foarte multumita de cum functioneaza programul meu pana acum. Am inceput sa curat cu aburi, nu cu chestii scumpe carora le fac reclama la tv ci cu niste aparate mai vechi, primite de la persoane care nu le mai folosesc.
Sunt foarte multumita ca am reusit sa-mi reduc posesiile la minimum necesar.
Pentru azi am de curatat cuptorul si fereastra de la sufragerie. La casa am curatat ferestrele cu abur si au iesit ca de cristal. Ce mai imi place este ca aburul scoate murdaria si din cele mai mici si de neajuns la ele "crapaturi" si striatii
Azi o sa mananc supa si salata la pranz si seara niste legme la gril cu mujdei de usturoi.

Meditatia de azi

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Negativity

Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns.

Negative energy can have a powerful pull on us, especially if we're struggling to maintain positive energy and balance. It may seem that others who exude negative energy would like to pull us into the darkness with them. We do not have to go. Without judgment, we can decide it's okay to walk away, okay to protect ourselves.

We cannot change other people. It does not help others for us to get off balance. We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them.

Today, God, help me to know that I don't have to allow myself to be pulled into negativity - even around those I love. Help me set boundaries. Help me know it's okay to take care of myself.


mai vreau sa notez ca nunta roiala care se apropie ma intristeaza. Cu banii cheltuiti pe un eveniment ca acesta s-ar putea salva vieti. Undeva pe planeta copii mor de foame...

Regret ca nu pot citi meditatiile tale...Cred ca seamana cu ceea ce primesc eu de pe ozibuna...

da, din alea sunt mersi de adresa siteului, ma abonez si eu


Am gatat baia in 30 de min, cu 1 pauza de 5 min. Cred ca cea mai mare challenge pentru mine este sa pricep si sa respect ca fiecare lucru si lucrusor trebe sa stea cu fratii lui. Inca mai gasesc cate un elastic de par in cutia cu medicamente. Si e clar ca NU acolo ii e locul. Ma mai supara servetelele umede luate cand si cand de la Burger King in ideea ca poate candva mi-or trebui. Cand mi-ar trebui sigur nu le am la mine ) Acuma ele locuiesc care pe unde, raspandite prin vreo trei sertare. O sa le adun si o mi le bag in poseta.

O sa ies mai incolo un ceas cu bicicleta, in rest red ca nu fac altceva azi decat sa ma odihnesc si sa mai trebaluiesc incet.

Mission accomplished! Adica in afara de geamul de la sufragerie si cuptor. Le curat dupa ce trag un pui de somn sa am mai mare forta in bicepsi

Am strans toate lucrurile ce nu-mi apartin si le-am pus la usa in pungi pregatite sa se indreptele spre cäshile lor. Chestii mici sau mari, date mie cu imprumut (niste usb stickuri de ex.) sau lasate la mine pentru o data viitoare (niste saltelutze pt gimnastica). Tre sa am grija cand imi intra lucruri straine in casa sa le trimit inapoi ca am eu destule ale mele de sortat si aranjat.

Azi e una din acele zile cand nu ies din casa. Putine de tot sunt zilele astea asa ca o sa ma bucur de asta de azi.

Cel mai ieftin deodorant e camera sunt lumanarile parfumate. Le tin neaprinse in camera si cand ma intorc acasa le simt parfumul discret. Am luat din alea de la Ikea. Si daca nu le aprind o sa ma tina mult si bine

Trebe sa ma epilez. Poate cand ma trezesc... desi n-am chef de dureri azi...

Ma duc ca mi se inchid ochii

n-am reusit sa adorm. M-am uitat la tv apoi am mai facut niste ordine in sufragerie. Daca reusesc sa ma focusez si sa pun mereu, fara exceptii, fiecare lucrursor alaturi de fraii si sorurile lui atunci n-o sa mai fie nici atata (putin) deranj la mine cat e. Adica azi am vazut ca ghemul si andrelele ce le folosisem in urma cu doua luni le-am pus intr-un carton pe comoda in loc sa le fi pus DIRECT acolo unde-s celelalte. In ideea ca o sa mai tricotez. Daca o sa mai tricotez o sa le pot lua si de unde locuiesc ele cu familie, nu trebe sa le inchiriez garsoniera la oras just?

Mi-am pus masca de peeling.

Am poftit usturoi. De cativa ani incoace mi-e rau dupa ce mananc usturoi si fac febra. Candva mancam mujdei pana la loc comanda. Acuma nu mai inteleg... si ieri mi-a fost rau de la ciorba de cartofi?? cum poate fi rau ceva in ce am pus numai bunatati? Toate produsele bio, nimic prajit nimic ars nimic chimic... Incep sa imbatranesc...

Tata lui L e la urgenta.

Eu am luat legatura cu o crescatoare de ciobanesc mioritic din Austria la care tre sa-i fete cateaua. Cere 1.200 pe un pui...??? ojeje...

la 18:45 incepe pe SAT 1 o emisiune noua in care o sa arate cum se poate renova si redisegna o incapere cu costuri zero. Me curious

deci chiar zero costuri nu sunt dar minimale. Ce face tipul asta? Desface mobile, le refunctioneaza, le beleste lacul de pe ele, le da alta culoare etc etc Unele chestii is chiar faine, o sa-mi notez ce cred c-as fi si io capabila sa fac hihi

http://psihologia.wordpress.com/reviste-de-psihologie/

Am inceput proiectul ce-l tot amanam de-o mie de ani, doamne-ajuta!



Imi doresc ochelari de cal


Feedback venit pe email de la un oaspete

"Hi Carmen,

Back home in Ireland and catching up now on my correspondence.

I want to say a big "thank you" for all the assistance you gave me on my recent visit to Klagenfurt (especially the pizza!).

It was particularly kind of you to offer me your own bicycle on the Saturday night when I couldn't get the light to work on my own...

As it happened, it was for the best I didn't accept your offer as I met a very nice lady from Klagenfurt in the very first bar I visited that night at the top of Villacherstrasse.

And now I'm coming back to Klagenfurt on 17th May!

So, if I'd taken your bicycle I probably would have gone straight to the centre and not had this opportunity...

Isn't life strange?

Might drop in to see you when I'm in town.

But I really appreciate all the help you gave me with your laptop, etc...

Top woman!

Lg,

"

Meditatia de azi

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning
So much to say. And so much not to say! Some things are better left unsaid. But so many unsaid things can become a burden.
—Virginia Mae Axline

The occasions are many when we'd like to share a feeling, an observation, perhaps even a criticism with someone. The risk is great, however. She might be hurt, or he might walk away, leaving us alone.

Many times, we need not share our words directly. Weighing and measuring the probable outcome and asking for some inner guidance will help us decide when to speak up and when to leave things unsaid. But if our thoughts are seriously interfering with our relationships, we can't ignore them for long.

Clearing the air is necessary sometimes, and it freshens all relationships. When to take the risk creates consternation. But within our quiet spaces, we always know when we must speak up. And the direction will come. The right moment will present itself. And within those quiet spaces the right words can be found.

If I am uncomfortable with certain people, and the feelings don't leave, I will consider what might need to be said. I will open myself to the way and ask to be shown the steps to take. Then, I will be patient.

http://www.mindfuleating.org/Portions.html

n-am chef de nimica deocamdata, azi trebuie sa ies sa cumpar alimente, vremea e mohorata, ma indeamna la somn. Inca mai jelesc dupa usturoi...

Pe to do list-ul meu de azi:
Mers la cumparaturi: fructe, salata
Aspirat
Curatat cu aburi fereastra la sufragerie + cuptorul + podelele
Facut mancare (mamaliga cu sos de ciuperci)

Azi ma scap sigur de una din pungile cu lucrurile altora ce le-am strans la intrare. Nu ceva noroc maine ma mai scap de 2 chestii (saltelutzele si o masinarie).

Am decis sa stau acasa we asta chiar daca sunt libera. O sa mai trebaluiesc pe ici pe colo si sa fac macar prima parte a cursului. Sau cat mi-a pica mie bine.

Saptamana viitoare merg la teatru invitata de o doamna in varsta ce o cunosc de o gramada de ani de cand vine si se cazeaza la noi. Abia astept! Si piesa si pe doamna. Iubesc compania ei

n-am facut prea multe azi si totusi is obosita. Am trecut pe langa un loc unde se depoziteaza chestii ce le arunca lumea ca sa vina masina sa le ia sa le distruga si mi-au cazut ochii pe un scaun pentru terasa care avea inca eticheta cu pretul pe el, l-am luat, acasa l-am sters de praf, e super frumos, verde, mare, confortabil

A plouat azi, inainte de asta a apucat gradinarul sa taie iarba si acuma e racoare si curat si miroase atat de frumos...

Maine fac 2 ore de baby sitting la o bebelusa

Am cumparat azi un sac de vata de acril, mai urmeaza sa cumpar maine sarma, la sf. de saptamana fac un curs de facu papusi waldorf. Vreau sa-mi fac o fetita cu parul lung pe care sa i-l impletesc. Frumos la papusile astea este ca sunt mai mari si li se pot face hainitze de tot felul...

Cam asa o sa fie papusica mea, doar ca ii fac parul negru

m-am trezit cu durere de cap si un rau din ala mare. Ieri am mancat usturoi, o cantitate infima, nu m-am gandit ca ar putea sa-mi provoace asa ceva. Asa ca de azi cred ca e oficial bye bye usturoi for ever... I'm gonna miss you...

inca tot nu-s mai bine, cred ca o sa sun sa contramandez cele doua intalniri ce le aveam pe azi dupa amiaza

ok, dupa cam 1 ceas mi-am revenit, doamne-ajuta!

un capitol pe care il inchei in viata mea, dupa multe dureri si meditatie si acceptare

Thursday, April 28, 2011 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Anger at Family Members

Many of us have anger toward certain members of our family. Some of us have much anger and rage - anger that seems to go on year after year.

For many of us, anger was the only way to break an unhealthy bondage or connection between a family member and ourselves. It was the force that kept us from being held captive - mentally, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually - by certain family members.

It is important to allow ourselves to feel - to accept - our anger toward family members without casting guilt or shame on ourselves. It is also important to examine our guilty feelings concerning family members as anger and guilt are often intertwined.

We can accept, even thank, our anger for protecting us. But we can also set another goal: taking our freedom.

Once we do, we will not need our anger. Once we do, we can achieve forgiveness.

Think loving thoughts; think healing thoughts toward family members. But let ourselves be as angry as we need to be.

At some point, strive to be done with the anger. But we need to be gentle with ourselves if the feelings surface from time to time.

Thank God for the feelings. Feel them. Release them. Ask God to bless and care for our families. Ask God to help us take freedom and take care of ourselves.

Let the golden light of healing shine upon all we love and upon all with whom we feel anger. Let the golden light of healing shine on us.

Trust that a healing is taking place, now.

Help me accept the potent emotions I may feel toward family members. Help me be grateful for the lesson they are teaching me. I accept the golden light of healing that is now shining on my family and me. I thank God that healing does not always come in a neat, tidy package.




-------------------------------------------------------------------





Program detaliat pe azi: lucrat pana la 15.00 (in masura in care este ceva de facut, in rest frecat menta pe net). Mers acasa, asteptat Y cu fata sa ii cos ceva, petrec cu ele o ora. Apoi merg la A si o iau pe Leona la plimbare, cu biberoane cu tot, speram ca nu ploua si mergem sa ne plimbam, daca ploua ne gasim ceva distractii prin casa. La varsta la care e Leona si o hartie colorata fosnitoare ajunge Dupa vreo 2 ceasuri o duc pe Leona acasa, ma intorc la domizil, pun apa in vasul roman, astept pe Meli cu Bianca (o lasa la mine pana merge la antrenament). Iesim la plimbare eu cu Bia, pe la 7.30 ne intoarcem si punem mancarea in vasul de lut la cuptor, asteptam sa se faca 9 sa vina Meli sa cinam, intre timp eu pun hainele spalate si uscate la loc, repar cele 3 tricouri ale Helgai, fac mamaliga, cand vine Meli mancam, povestim, poate deschid o sticla de vin friulan, cand se duc fac dush si ma bag la nani
Meli sa-si duca saltelutzele, programul TV, poate pune masina mama-sii in portbagaj? sper! ca asa ma scap si de aia.
In concluzie o zi de voluntariat pentru prietene, is recunoscatoare cerului ca mi-a oferit sansa asta mare de a putea DA

Bineinteles ca o sa trebuiasca sa curat cuptorul printre picaturi inainte de-a baga mancarea-n el... asa-mi trebe daca nu m-am invrednicit zilele trecute, am stat si-am frecat menta noa da si aia tre s-o faca cineva!


-----------------------------


Ah da, si, ca sa adug un plus de culoare zilei can innorate, azi am scris la serviciu cu pix de culoarea verde

am dormit ca un bolovan azi noapte...

azi am o zi plina, frumoasa, ploua foarte finutz si am fost cu bicicleta, am trecut pe langa niste garduri de liliac, m-am oprit si-am mirosit liliacul ud... uau...!

Şi eu am cumpărat liliac azi. Acasă îl aveam în grădină, aici trebuie să mă mulţumesc cu el în vază.

Vera eu am mers chiar mai departe si am imbracat bluza si jerseu de culoarea liliacului azi

azi am lucrat doua ore dimineata, am pranzit, am mers 30 de min cu bicicleta spre tipa care tine cursul. Am pipait pe papusa pana la 4.30, (e foarte fain, maine merg iara si luni inca o data si gata cred) apoi am fost la cumparaturi, am facut cina, am cinat, acuma ma uit la tv si mintenas ma duc sa fac o baie si apoi somn pana maine.

Papusa are cam 40 de cm, cand ii vine vremea o sa primeasca par blond poate... sau brunet... nu stiu... mai vedem...

O lectie foarte importanta pentru mine

You are reading from the book Touchstones
A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action not reaction.
—Rita Mae Brown

All men in recovery confront their reactive habits in relationships. Whether we came to recovery as a codependent or as an addict, we soon must face how much other people's behavior has been a cue for our own reactions. There is always a three-part process in any reaction first, the other person's behavior; second, a moment of choosing a response; and third, our reaction. But in our spiritual slavery, we don't notice the choice stage. It feels automatic. It may feel as though "the other person made me do it."

No amount of changing on someone else's part can change us. We are becoming more responsible for our own lives and for our own behavior regardless of others around us. There is liberation in noticing the choice stage. It is tough to follow through on our choices, but when we do, it is truly a sign of a grown man. Then a remarkable thing happens - our self-esteem rises.

Today, I will pause to notice the choices I have in the moment between someone's action and my reaction.






----------------





Azi ma scap de inca niste lucruri care nu-si au locul la mine, am sunat sa vina dupa ele. Maine cred ca ma scap de celelalte si amin!

Hei du, kannst du nicht mal ab und zu auch auf deutsch was bringen? nicht nur auf englisch nu ca nu as stii engleza

Hey Maus, mich würden alle verfluchen...
Englisch kann ich, ja, aber ich möchte mich nicht vervielfältigen, of course my dear...
Mai stiu si româneste pe lânga, n'est-ce pas ...

bin müde heute...

Ileana m-am gandit la tine cand am fo in Linz. Am mancat la McDonalds de la gara sa stii

dimineata am fost la lucru, pana la 1 apoi am calcat 8 camasi pentru o tipa care si-o rupt mana, apoi m-am dus la cursul de papusi. Tipa care ma invata e perfectionista. M.am intors acasa la 9 seara obosita rupta, acuma-s in pat, maine am liber dar tre sa merg la sedinta apoi la curs...

Maine vreau sa reumplu calutul de mare.

Am si unele chestii organizatorice de rezolvat maine.

Noapte buna