Feline Physics
Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless
acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or
a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there
is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat
hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body,
except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional
to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever
possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and
as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long
enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction - Turn on an electric blanket and a
cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
Law of Random Comfort Seeking - A cat will always seek, and usually
take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy - All bags and boxes in a given room must
contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
Law of Cat Embarrassment - A cat's irritation rises in direct
proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Cat Disinterest - A cat's interest level will vary in inverse
proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to
interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection - Any pill given to a cat has the potential
energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat Composition - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter +
It Doesn't Matter.